Sunday, 27 September 2009

Give me my pills! Quickly! I need my pills!

It seems that Gordon Brown's instinct for self-preservation is still working despite his rapidly disintegrating mental state - or he is no longer capable of telling the truth - judging by the way he lied when Andrew Marr asked him if he was taking pills to 'help him get through'.

One thing is for certain. His expression when Marr asked the question followed by his not-so-private temper tantrum afterwards will only fuel further speculation.

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Most definitely in the public interest.

I met an old family friend for lunch this afternoon and the conversation eventually turned to the expenses fiasco.

A former QC now long since retired, he is quite disgusted by the inflated, often blatantly fraudulent expense claims made by MPs and expressed the desire to temporarily come out of retirement to prosecute just one last case.

When I laughingly asked which one he would prefer, he remarked "The former Speaker would be nice" but he'd be willing to settle for Gordon Brown or one of his 'inner circle'.

Then with a wicked smile he said those dreaded words which have been known to strike abject fear into the heart of even the most seasoned senior clerk.

"I might even do it pro bono."

Friday, 25 September 2009

Don't forget your lifejacket Gordon.

There's a rumour going round that Gordon Brown is preparing to jump ship ahead of the general election.

This is quite an 'about-face' for Brown who has always maintained that he "wasn't going anywhere" and was recently telling people that he'd have to be "carried out feet first". Naturally there is a long list of people who would be only too willing to help him achieve the latter ambition sooner rather than later.

However it's very unlikely to be true as it would also mean he would have to accept the reality of the forthcoming election defeat. Something he has clearly demonstrated over and over again he is incapable of doing.

I suspect what actually happened is that the blackshirts are so desperately trying to find bolt-holes for themselves to hide in, they forgot to keep an eye on whoever is making post-defeat arrangements for Brown and the rest of the cabinet.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Please keep your hands where I can see them Mr. Brown

I can't say I was surprised to hear that U.S. president Barak Obama had become the latest in a long line of foreign politicians who want nothing more to do with Gordon Brown.

I suspect that Obama, like most of the others, is concerned about the damage to his reputation and his own chances of re-election should he be perceived as being too closely associated with Brown.

Of course, the U.S. Secret Service expressing concerns about the state of Gordon Brown's mental health and his increasingly erratic behaviour may have also have been taken into consideration.

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Of oars and feet

The CBI has stuck it's oar into the university funding debate - or it's foot in it's mouth depending on your point of view - by saying that students should pay higher tuition fees and more interest on their loans.

Naturally this has drawn a storm of protest from a wide range of sources including the National Union of Students which criticised the report as "gross hypocrisy" from the "fat cats of the CBI", very few of whom ever paid a penny towards their own state funded university education.

This view is supported by the Association of Teachers and Lecturers which referred to the proposals as "arrogant and elitist".

However the report does have some support from groups which want to see further restrictions on access to higher education, particularly at university level. And while the report itself doesn't specifically call for this, it does call for the government's aim of having 50% of young people attend university to be abandoned, along with other measures which would have the same effect.

Also contained within the report is the 'suggestion' that universities should focus more on 'economically valuable' subjects such as science, technology, engineering, maths and languages.

The very areas which most of the CBI's membership steadfastly refuse to invest in, claiming they are "not economically viable".

With CBI's constant complaints about how difficult it is for companies to keep graduate staff once they've got enough experience to make their skills marketable, it's not difficult to see why the CBI would want to see students pushed deeper into debt.

As for the students themselves. Someone more cynical than myself might suggest that for many of them, their primary concern would be that higher costs will mean less money for beer and drugs.

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Turn left at next junction...

I see from the Times that the idiot who slavishly followed his sat-nav's instructions right to the very edge of a cliff in West Yorkshire has been convicted of driving without due care and attention.

He was fined £370, had 6 penalty points added to his license and was ordered to pay £500 costs. With the recovery bill for his car this piece of stupidity has cost him nearly £1900.

Yet despite this he is still insisting he did nothing wrong and is quoted as being "extremely disappointed" with the verdict. He also insists that he was using the sat-nav properly and that it was at fault, not him.

This is complete nonsense of course. Had he been paying proper attention to the footpath he was following he would have realised that something was seriously wrong before he hit the fence at the edge of the cliff.

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Why can't we have it in Sterling?

Here's something which could explain the mystery behind LabourList's much disputed financing.

The US Special Operations Command has awarded General Dynamics a $10 million contract to set up a network of psychological warfare "influence websites" to support the Global War On Terror with France and Britain specifically included as "targeted regions".

Of course it's no secret that the U.S. maintains intelligence 'assets' in supposedly friendly countries. They've been caught at it often enough. So it's not that big a step from there to "influence websites" which provide,

"dissemination of truthful information to foreign audiences in support of US policy"

Hmm... Perhaps that's where Gordo and his chums get their ideas about what constitutes the truth. The U.S. has certainly been the source of many of their more questionable ideas.

However it's the following quote from the original article which puts me in mind of LabourList.

"It would appear that any UK media site or channel which appears to be functioning without any visible means of support appropriate to its expenses may in fact be a tentacle of US Special Ops psywar command."

Given the U.S. government's past record, there may be more 'truth' in that than the author intended.

US Spec Ops operates psywar websites targeted at UK

Who did you say you were?

I had a phone call this morning from someone who wanted to know how I thought Harriet Harmon compared with Gordon Brown.

A rather risky question under the current circumstances and having never heard of this individual I naturally attempted to determine precisely who he was before answering it.

He wouldn't say and eventually gave up when I persisted.

Obviously this was someone 'testing the water' to see how much support Harman might have amongst the CLPs in advance of the party conference later this month.

The question is, was this one of Harman's supporters or Gordo's blackshirts?

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

But she NEEDS her bonus

It's been pointed out to me that the 'real' reason the W.H.Smiths area manager got rid of the cleaners was to preserve her bonus.

Well... Yes. I had sort of figured that out for myself.

With falling revenue the only way to maintain the illusion of increasing profits is drastic cost cutting regardless of consequences.

However that wasn't her stated reason was it?

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Don't just stand there. Clean something!

I was in one of the larger W.H.Smiths branches yesterday morning and noticed that it was looking rather shabby, as if it hadn't been cleaned properly for a while.

It didn't take long to ascertain that the area manager had had another of her 'funny turns' and got rid of all the cleaners. Apparently she believes that the staff can do it because,

"They spend too much time standing around doing nothing anyway."

Thursday, 3 September 2009

Patently Ridiculous

Trevor Baylis - the man credited with having 'invented' the wind-up radio despite having done nothing more than patented the idea of adding a clockwork mechanism to the old schoolboy physics experiment involving a dynamo and a transistor radio - has jumped on the "Nick em all and let the courts sort them out" bandwagon by writing to our Peter urging him to make intellectual property theft a criminal offence.

In an interview with the BBC he said that inventors need more protection against people who attempt to copy or steal their ideas. He went on to say,

"If I was to nick your car, which is worth £10,000, say, I could go to jail. But if I were to nick your patent, which is worth a million pounds, you'd have to sue me."

To which he added,

"And if I was a colossal company, or indeed another country, that had stolen your invention, how could you find a million pounds a day to take me to court?"

On the surface this seems quite reasonable. After all, no one likes having their ideas stolen, particularly if they've put a lot of work into them.

However his true motivation becomes clear when he says the answer is to make stealing a patent a criminal offence. That way the state, and not the individual inventor, would bear the costs of going to court.

In other words what he actually wants is the state - that's us taxpayers - to foot the bill for enforcing his patents.

Apparently people are using his idea of a wind-up mechanism without paying him for it. The fact that wind-up mechanisms were in common use long before he was born is irrelevant of course. Like any patent troll, he still wants people to pay him to use them.

However he's not alone in this. It's estimated that more than half of the world's patents are currently in the hands of 'patent trolls' who use them as a means to extort money from legitimate businesses.

A preview of one consequence of making patent infringement a criminal offence was seen in Germany last year. Major exhibitors at two separate consumer electronics shows in March and August had their stands raided by armed German Customs officers who seized exhibits following a complaint of patent infringement from a well known Italian patent troll. 180 officers took part in the first raid and over 200 in the second.

It's little surprise then that one critic described Baylis' remarks as "Barking Mad".

Inventor urges patent law change
Brit inventor wants prison for patent crims

Sunday, 30 August 2009

Be careful dear. That doesn't look very safe.

I was doing some research on the internet earlier today when I came across a 'Grow Your Own' style website / forum.

As always with the internet in general, it contained some very good advice along with the not-so-good, the bad and the downright bloody dangerous!

On this occasion some of the 'members' were advising one visitor to take a pan of boiling water into the garden so that sweet-corn could be put straight into the pan immediately after picking.

This 'advice' apparently came from some idiot woman on TV and - allegedly - prevents the sweet-corn from deteriorating as the sugars - allegedly once again - instantly start turning into starch as soon as it's picked.

There are several things wrong with this of course.

First, the idea that garden produce immediately starts deteriorating the moment it's harvested is complete nonsense. Much of it actually continues to ripen.

Second, no matter how small your garden by the time you get to the plant, remove the cob and strip the leaves off, the one thing you can be sure of is the water won't be boiling anymore.

But far more importantly, carrying a pan of boiling water around a garden is nothing less than sheer bloody lunacy! While covering the pan will probably stop it from slopping over the sides, nothing is going to stop it spilling if you trip over something. If you're lucky you may simply kill a patch of grass or a few plants.

The 'advice' given by other 'members' wasn't quite so deranged suggesting that the sweet-corn should be picked and the leaves stripped while running towards the kitchen where the cob should be plunged into a pan of boiling water.

There was also one member who suggested picking and eating it raw directly from the plant which I suppose might be ok if you haven't used any chemicals such as fertilisers or insecticides etc.

Or the local wildlife hasn't shit on it in passing.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Mandleblotted Again

Our Peter's reputation as a 'Mr Fix-It' has taken something of a bashing recently. Not only did he make a complete pig's ear of cleaning up the mess Waccy-Baccy made when she ordered the City of London Police to drop their investigation into the unlawful interception and monitoring of BT Internet customers by BT and Phorm - Yes I know. The more perceptive of you did realise this was the real reason Peter was brought back into the Cabinet by Gordo.

Now he's been caught with his hand down the front of David Geffen's trousers - figuratively speaking of course - by going on holiday with him then immediately on his return, ordering the re-inclusion of proposals which would see people disconnected from the internet following a complaint of 'copyright violation' without any evidence of misconduct whatsoever.

Naturally this is being touted as a coincidence despite Peter having shown very little interest in the Digital Britain report before. A fact which did not go unnoticed by the Tories, some of whom have been laughing themselves silly at the sight of Peter having shot himself in the foot yet again.

A previous generation used to talk of 'blotting one's copybook' - something which was considered quite serious at the time - and I have to wonder just how many more times Peter will be allowed to 'blot his copybook' before he's sent to Headmaster Brown for a caning.

Although it does occur to me that given their known 'proclivities', that is something which they will probably both enjoy.

Thursday, 13 August 2009

A Very Narrow Escape

A young mother from Dover and her three year old daughter had a very narrow escape last Thursday when the brakes on her car failed completely just one week after the front discs had been replaced by a main dealership in Canterbury.

When examined by the AA at their garage in Whitfield, one of the brake lines was found to be split across the line and the other had become completely detached from the brake calliper assembly.

A few minutes research on the Internet made it very clear what had happened, even to a mechanical dunce like myself.

The giveaway was the repeated warnings to support the brake calliper assembly after it's removal and not to allow it's weight to place a strain on the brake lines or allow the lines to become 'kinked'.

The possible consequences of not supporting the weight of the callipers?

"The brake lines may split, crack or become detached."

I must admit to having something of a personal interest in this case as I also had new front discs from this very same dealership just over a month ago and given the way I drive, I am unlikely to have been so fortunate had this happened to me.

Naturally I'm having my brakes checked by the AA on Monday. Until then I shall be driving very, very carefully.

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Results of Commons Censorship Project published online.

Details of MPs expense claims were finally published online today despite all the efforts they and Commons officials put into trying to stop publication.

Unfortunately the published claims have been so heavily censored that they are almost completely useless which may have been the intention. Even Sir Stuart Bell was forced to admit that some of the omissions were "pathetic", as was his attempt to shift the blame onto Commons officials by saying

"I think it's unfortunate and I think it's officialdom and no MP would have authorised that."

Add in the seemingly random way the documents are organised, the lack of a machine readable version and it begins to look much like the sort of 'snowjob' so beloved of American lawyers, where significant documents are buried within hundreds, often thousands of pages of utterly useless crap.

If this was indeed a deliberate attempt to make it difficult for anyone studying the material then it was a bloody silly thing to do with the Telegraph already in possession of the full, uncensored documents.

Where the chance to do a side-by-side comparison will undoubtedly be far too good an opportunity to miss.

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Another Campbell Classic?

Alastair Campbell made the first move in what could be a bold plan to protect Gordon Brown as he clings desperately to the post of Prime Minister - and possibly his continuation as an MP if he ever agrees to return to the back benches - when he told MPs at a special Speakers Conference that MPs detained under the Mental Health Act should not automatically lose their seats.

Campbell said that many MPs including members of Tony Blair's government had mental problems but were afraid to admit it in case it was used against them.

However his most revealing statement was

"I completely accept that somebody could become so severely mentally ill for such a sustained period of time that they just could not do an important public position."

To which he added that such a case could be dealt with by party leaders and whips in the same way other problems were handled.

With Campbell having suffered from depression himself in the past, it would be easy to view this as a genuine attempt to eliminate what is arguably a form of discrimination.

Were it not for the simple fact that no MP has ever been excluded from Parliament for this reason.

End 'sectioned' MP ban - Campbell

Monday, 15 June 2009

Two whats-its-names with one rumour?

Political commentators such as Paul Staines, a.k.a Guido Fawkes, and myself are not infallible. To misquote former Tory Prime Minister John Major - We're Bloggers, not Clairvoyants.

However as Guido was recently forced to point out once again, we do this mostly for our own amusement. If others are also amused and entertained then that's fine too.

An excellent example of us 'getting it wrong' was the BNP gaining two seats in the European Parliament when we both predicted they didn't have a hope in hell. Those predictions were based on published polls which only goes to show how you can be led astray by bad information.

So when Guido posted about James Purnell offering to stand against Gordon Brown, he also mentioned it was unconfirmed in nice bright red lettering and that he was attempting to check it.

Then along comes Alex Smith - yes, that Alex Smith - this weekend with a post on LabourList saying,

"It was good to get one over the self-confessed trouble-maker"

I can only assume that this is some personal definition of 'troublemaker' which includes those who uncover despicable smear campaigns by 'special advisors' and criminal activity by MPs.

Smith also wondered if Guido's source might be the "patsy" in

"a wider counter-plot of unsubstantiated behind-the-scenes forces trying to smear and discredit Purnell and others who had been bold enough to criticise Brown's leadership"

That would be the blackshirts Alex as you very well know.

The question Guido is asking over on Order-Order is why Jonty Pryor would go to all this trouble.

Well... Jonty isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer by any means but he does have a certain degree of 'native cunning' as it used to be called. Furthermore, he is one of Smith's own and Smith as we all know, was a close associate of Draper.

I also heard from a reliable source that Damien McBride has resurfaced. Quietly and without fuss. Now operating behind the scenes much as I suspected he would.

Anyone else notice a certain familiar pattern emerging here?

Yes indeed. Who else would have the motivation to sabotage Purnell and try to make Guido look like an idiot at the same time?

Guido: punk'd by a patsy?

Who Punk’d Guido Over Purnell?

Thursday, 11 June 2009

I think they've got the message.

As the vermin seem to have given up trying to leave their nasty little paw prints all over the place I have restored comment moderation to it's previous setting.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

One Party, One Reich.

Shortly after the local election results were announced I was told that Brown and Mandelson had discussed temporarily suspending elections during a private meeting.

I didn't believe it of course. While Brown is undoubtedly deranged enough to suggest it and self obsessed enough to believe he can get away with it, Peter Mandelson is neither. Nor is he stupid enough to believe that news of such a discussion wouldn't leak.

However having just finished reading some of Brown's 'suggestions' for electoral reform I'm no longer quite so sure that it isn't true.

Quite frankly these 'suggestions' amount to nothing more than a desperate attempt to rig the system by a throughly deranged individual who is obviously no longer in full control of his faculties.

Which rather begs the question. Who's pulling his strings? Who did these ideas really come from?

They are certainly not Gordon Brown's. Brown has clearly demonstrated both publicly and privately that he is psychologically incapable of accepting the fact that neither he nor the Labour party have a snowball's chance in hell of winning a general election.

The most obvious candidate is Mandelson. Yet Mandelson is apparently quite happy with the current system which allows the leadership to dictate who can stand for election. It also allows them to control MPs and PPCs by threatening to withhold their support as Brown's blackshirts did recently to shore up his rapidly failing support within the PLP. With so many Labour MPs up to their necks in it over their expenses, they are not in a position to risk refusing their support.

Naturally it is possible that the whole thing is meant as nothing more than a means of distracting attention from the expenses fiasco. If so then it has been partially successful with some of the debate now having shifted to how MPs are elected instead of what they do once elected and how to stop them when they inevitably get caught.

It's even marginally possible that having been caught out so badly by the expenses fiasco, whoever is pulling Brown's strings has decided to capitalise on the situation by making things look so bad that voters will be desperate for change, any change, as they were in 1997. And out of that desperation they will support the creation of what is in effect a one party state with a Labour/Lib-Dem coalition permanently being re-elected under an Alternative Vote system.

With the Lib-Dems being long term proponents of a proportional representation system similar to that used for the European Parliament - and which allows vermin like the BNP and other extremists to gain seats despite having actually lost some of their support. It's likely that they would support this as their only means of getting some influence over whoever is holding the reins.

Our current first past the post system isn't perfect and has often been criticised for not representing the entire electorate amongst other things, but it actually works quite well and far better than any of the proposed alternatives.

However the real issue is and always has been the lack of a suitable mechanism for dealing with MPs who abuse their position and despite Brown's announcement this afternoon of tougher sanctions for MPs guilty of 'misconduct', there is still no definition of what will constitute misconduct and no intention of applying sanctions to the current crop of thieving toerags other than the existing sacrificial scapegoats.

Until that is properly resolved with those involved being permanently banned from holding any public or corporate office and, where appropriate, prosecuted for fraud, misconduct in a public office etc. everything else is just window dressing.

Monday, 8 June 2009

An Unmitigated Disaster.

Well, the European election results were every bit as bad as predicted and even worse in some regions with the party being beaten into fifth place by the Greens in the South-East and South-West, and sixth place in Cornwall by the Cornish Nationalists of all people.

How we managed overall third is something of a mystery and can only be attributed to the 'my da voted Labour and his da afore him' mentality which make it so difficult for alternatives such as the UKIP, the Greens and BNP to gain a foothold. Not entirely a bad thing in the case of the last two.

The only real surprise was the BNP gaining two seats. If nothing else this clearly demonstrates the problems of a proportional representation system such as that used in the European elections or that proposed by the Lib-Dems. They may sound good and even look good on paper, but in practice a party can actually lose support and still win seats as the BNP did in Yorkshire where their share of the vote actually fell but was still enough to gain one of the region's six seats.

Of course, the idiots who admitted to voting for the lunatic fringe such as the Christian Alliance because they "couldn't find UKIP" on the ballot paper didn't help.

Another thing it demonstrates is the notorious unreliability of polls which is usually ignored and in this case suggested the BNP would be unlikely to get more than 5% of the vote. Due no doubt to the many who lied when asked which party they would be voting for in order to avoid being seen as a racist.

But what was truly shocking was that deranged Scots git's reaction to the news that the party had suffered it's worse election defeat since the second world war.

He shrugged his shoulders and said it didn't matter. That he was going to carry on regardless and anyone who refused to support him would be "out on their arse".

Which leaves me in no doubt now that he is mentally ill and clearly has been for some time. He is now quite obviously displaying many, if not all of the classic symptoms of a narcissistic personality disorder - a grandiose sense of self-importance, an unshakeable belief that he is special and that others envy him. He is arrogant, exploitive and lacks empathy. He often becomes enraged when people disagree with him or fail to accord him the special treatment to which he feels entitled.

And yet even NPD doesn't seem quite able to explain all of his recent behaviour. Perhaps he's decided that as he cannot go down in history as a great Labour Prime Minister - not that there was ever any chance of that - he'll settle for being the last Labour Prime Minister.

The only other possible explanation I can see is that he's a tory mole recruited to destroy the party from within. Perhaps Margaret Thatcher will finally get to see that day she once expressed a desire for, when there are only two major political parties in the UK and neither of them is the Labour Party.

Thursday, 4 June 2009

Electoral Commission to Earth - Don't fold the ballot papers, over.

The Electoral Commission has sent out an alert to returning officers warning polling staff not to fold ballot papers after talking to returning officers and the UKIP which "raised the issue with them".

What's causing all the fuss is the bottom of the paper being very neatly folded backwards just above the dividing line. On casual inspection this gives the impression that the paper ends there effectively removing the UKIP from the ballot.

A UKIP spokesman is quoted as saying "We are getting literally hundreds of calls saying we can't find you on the ballot paper so we voted for somebody else."

With so many of their supporters seemingly unable or unwilling to ask for assistance it looks like Boris might not be the only one to take an early bath today.

Warning over folded ballot papers

Boris Johnson stumbles into river

We would have won but for [insert excuse here]

The excuses have started early today with the UKIP claiming that staff at polling stations are 'mishandling' ballot papers.

Specifically that ballot papers are being handed over with their name 'under the fold' as it were and some people have been unable to find it. Apparently some of their supporters have complained that the UKIP were not on the ballot paper.

Which rather begs the question...

Is this a desperate rear-guard action by New Labour/Tory/Lib-Dem supporters? After all it would not be the first time officials have 'interfered' in an election, not even in this country.

Or are some people really too stupid to unfold a simple piece of paper?

Election Day

Election day is finally here. By ten o'clock tonight it will be all over bar the shouting as the saying goes. We won't actually know the European results until Sunday evening as voting is spread out over four days with 18 countries not actually voting until Sunday.

Members of the mainstream parties and various church 'officials' are still predicting a large increase in support for extremists such as the BNP despite the polls clearly showing they have little chance of winning even a single seat.

Locally, people are seeing the Green party as a more reasonable alternative and on the face of it they do seem to be.

Unfortunately this is simply not true. The Greens are also extremists and just as racist as the BNP, but where the BNP have never tried to conceal their intent to 'repatriate' non-whites regardless of citizenship. The Greens have hidden their racist agenda, disguising it as 'ecological concerns'.

The reality is the Green Party is part of the same de-industrialisation lobby as Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth. They would much rather see children starving than allow third world countries to build the infrastructure they so desperately need. Yet at the same time are perfectly happy to allow western industrial interests to exploit those countries' mineral and other resources for their own profit.

Naturally when anyone questions their actions, they trot out the standard excuse used by every extremist in history - "It's for their own good".

Closer to home the Greens want to see the introduction of energy rationing and an end to what they claim are non-essential industries which they see as unproductive and wasteful.

With water treatment having a certain degree of energy dependence and proposed restrictions on groundwater extraction, water rationing would soon follow.

Their plans to invest in windfarms and other crackpot energy schemes which they are perfectly well aware cannot supply even the most minimal of our energy needs, while at the same time opposing more realistic options such as 'clean' coal and nuclear energy, is simply deranged.

Caroline Lucas once remarked to yours truly that she didn't need to understand nuclear energy in order to oppose it.

Yet she is also opposed further hydro-electric developments in this country and the third world despite this being the cleanest, most efficient and, in the long term, the cheapest form of energy production currently available. It's also a 'renewable' energy source.

A rather strange attitude for someone who supports fair trade with third world countries, but I suppose she doesn't understand hydro-electric energy either.

The Greens 'reason' for opposing such technologies is the environmental disruption caused by construction work. Apparently windfarms don't need to be constructed. If we all concentrate hard enough we can just wish them into being. They'll even set up "eco-camps" where we can learn to concentrate properly.

The real giveaway of course, was the way one of their activists 'warned' me that they would win one day and those who had opposed them would be remembered.

In the same way the Nazis remembered those who had opposed them no doubt.

Sunday, 31 May 2009

A Credible Threat?

The BNP are like one of those nasty, spiteful individuals many of us have had to work with at one time or another. Despised for their attitude and/or behaviour but tolerated for many reasons, not least of which is the desire to avoid being seen as a bigot. A situation which many of them are very, very good at manipulating to their own advantage.

Despite this, the BNP's public profile is probably higher now than it has ever been at any time in the past, as is their support amongst the general public.

However few, if any, of these people are genuine racists and/or fascists and most wouldn't willingly be found dead in the same room as these vermin under normal circumstances.

Unfortunately with MPs, asylum seekers and illegal immigrants openly abusing the system - often with blatantly fraudulent claims - and little or no realistic prospect of legal redress, most now feel the need for drastic action.

Most are well aware of what the BNP stand for but see this simply as a protest vote that will have little real effect on the lives of 'ordinary' people yet will send a powerful warning message to the mainstream parties. One elderly gentleman put it quite simply as, "You haven't left us much choice."

The Church of England also decided to weight in against them in the form of a joint statement by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York urging voters not to let their anger be exploited.

This is not the first time John Sentamu has spoken out in connection with politics and he has been described as having a liking for "grand gestures", while Rowan Williams has demonstrated on many occasions that his arrogance knows no bounds. An excellent example of this can be can be found <here>.

Naturally such a controversial statement only served to inflame matters, giving the BNP more ammunition and driving many people who see this as inappropriate interference in temporal affairs or who simply want the church and/or religion in general out of their lives, to consider voting BNP in protest.

It's interesting to note that while the Tory and Lib-Dem leaders both support the separation of church and state, only Nick Clegg has actually said so in public. Gordo as we all know has a rather different viewpoint and has been known to become quite abusive towards anyone who disagrees with him on the matter.

It's easy to draw a parallel between the current political crisis and the Nazi's election successes in 1933. However the anti-semitic cultural bias which existed in Germany at the time, and still exists in many parts of that country even now, has no direct or indirect equivalent here. We 'Englanders' are a fairly tolerant lot even where vermin like the BNP are concerned.

However a poll published by the Times yesterday clearly shows that despite the BNP's "striking advances", all their efforts to present the BNP as such a terrible threat still amount to little more than running around, waving their hands in the air and screaming "The BNP are coming! The BNP are coming!"

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Indeed he did

Earlier today I received a text msg saying "You really have to see this" followed by several grinning smilies and a link to a post on DoverLocals.

Possessing the usual primate curiosity I had a look. Then looked at the link in that post which leads back to a post on here...

And started laughing when I realised all that carefully crafted - and not so carefully crafted - abuse had completely gone to waste. The intended recipient had been away and simply did not know it had ever existed!

Absolutely Priceless.

Did I miss something?

Thursday, 28 May 2009

More than just hard work this time

Campaigning can hard work sometimes. In the past the most difficult part was trying to motivating people into caring about politics.

That's no longer the case. People who in the past said "Sorry, I'm not interested" when approached are now motivated enough to care about politics in a way they haven't been for many years.

Unfortunately it's almost entirely negative.

All of our activists are reporting a very unfriendly, often hostile reception with the most common reaction to their approach being "Piss off!" and occasionally the use of much stronger language.

One of those delivering leaflets was called back by an irate householder who angrily demanded "Do you see a sign saying please push excrement through my letterbox?"

Naturally this has led to some considerable ill-feeling towards our MPs in general and the party leadership in particular for placing them in this position. Several have quit with one or two saying they might come back for the general election if things have calmed down, while others are swearing they've had it with New Labour and won't be back until the "whole damn lot are expelled".

Of the few people who are prepared to talk, many simply want to vent their quite justified anger. Often asking how we have the balls to ask for their support or demanding to know why the party won't get rid of that "one eyed Scots git" and any other MP caught fiddling their expenses.

Unfortunately it's not that simple. There is no mechanism for recalling an MP once elected. Furthermore, the CLPs have no direct authority over the Parliamentary Labour Party or the NEC. Candidate selection must be from the 'Panel', a list of potential candidates approved by the NEC. The NEC also has the authority to block candidates which it has used in the past and is threatening to use again if the CLPs attempt to deselect any of the currently sitting MPs.

Attempting to point this out while campaigning would be counter-productive at best. Even the suggestion that there are still many honest, hard-working people in the Labour party who want to help local people, rather just help themselves to anything that isn't bolted down, is being met with open derision.

However the one thing most of them do agree on is the only way forward is to remove all MPs involved whether their claim was "within the rules" or not and prosecute those who made blatantly false claims or submitted improper accounts.

The only bright spot in a truly terrible week was overhearing a member of the public asking a tory activist who paid for Charles Elphicke's fancy suit.

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

I've only been away a week... (Part 1)

A lot has happened during my enforced 'hiatus'.

Michael Martin finally agreed to resign as Speaker of the Commons. What wasn't made public was that he only agreed to do so on the condition he was allowed to enter the House of Lords immediately where, I have no doubt, his greed will know no bounds and he will oppose any attempts at reform as vigorously as he did in the Commons.

An interesting coincidence was the timing of an announcement by the Metropolitan police and the CPS that they would not be investigating the expenses leak for what were no doubt very valid reasons. Just one hour before his resignation was announced.

ore thieving toerags have been 'outed' and as we've come to expect, all of them are denying they did anything wrong. I was particularly impressed by the way Anthony Steen shot himself in the foot with his insane rant on Radio 4's The World At One.

Mr Steen 'said' that the public should not have been allowed to see what he claimed on parliamentary expenses. That ministers had "mucked up the system" by introducing the Freedom of Information Act. That "it is this government that insisted on the things which caught me on the wrong foot" and that his critics were "jealous".

Well... At least he admitted to getting caught I suppose.

Mr Steen later apologised "unreservedly" for his remarks claiming he was "deeply upset" and had "over-reacted". David Cameron told Radio 4 the following day that it was "an appalling thing to say" and that he had warned Anthony Steen that he will be expelled from the parliamentary party if he steps out of line again.

I suspect that had Anthony Steen not already agreed to stand down, he would have been given little choice in the matter.

I've only been away a week... (Part 2)

The discrepancy between how the major parties are handling the expenses fiasco has continued to widen. The Tories are taking decisive action to ensure that at least a portion of the money will be repaid and many of those MPs involved will also be standing down at the next election. David Cameron has also announced that he is reopening the list of candidates for "anyone who wants to apply".

The Lib-Dems are still a long way behind despite Nick Clegg's desire to be seen as running a clean party but they are starting to make some progress with the departure of Chris Rennard. Naturally this is due to his ongoing health issues and not because he's been 'outed' over his finances or his alleged 'inappropriate' behaviour towards female staff at the party's Cowley Street headquarters and female PPCs.

Last of course is Gordo and the Labour leadership who are doing everything they can to protect those who've been 'outed'. With the exception of a few sacrificial scapegoats, they will not be required to make even a token repayment or stand down at the next election.

To make matters worse - if that's even possible at this point - the NEC has 'discretely' warned the chair of certain CLPs that it will not permit the deselection of sitting MPs. That it will exercise it's power to block any alternative candidates and that anyone proposing or supporting such a motion risks expulsion for bringing the party into disrepute.

And to round all this off, the Christian far right in the form of the Christian Party and the Christian Peoples Alliance have launched their European election campaign with a pledge to tackle Britain's "moral malaise". Thereby adding the option of religious fascism to the racist fascism and eco fascism already on offer from the BNP and the Greens.

I've only been away a week... (Part 3)

Closer to home, I had my attention drawn to DoverLocals. A local forum which had a post from one member suggesting that the UKIP had an "unrealistic worldview".

Naturally this is a matter of opinion, but on looking at some of the other opinions being expressed there I'd have to say that by their own standards, it's not just the UKIP which have an unrealistic worldview.

Mind you, I was amused by the suggestion that Chris Precious and Vic Matcham should stand on behalf of the Monster Raving Loony Party. A bit unfair on Chris I know, but Vic has always been potential Monster Raving Loony material and as for the thought of those two in Brussels...

What wasn't so amusing was evidence that the anti-monarchy campaign led by the Murdock press is still producing twisted results many years after it dribbled away to nothing with even Murdock himself admitting it had been a dismal failure.

Murdock blamed British apathy but I suspect it had rather more to do with the fact that the vast majority of the tabloid readership has the attention span of a four year old and an unhealthy obsession with certain parts of the female anatomy.

It started with Vic suggesting that the Queen should intervene in the current political crisis which one 'member' took as an opportunity to dribble on incoherently about the monarchy, suggesting that abolishing it would allow us to address homelessness and properly equip our troops in Iraq.

This rather twisted viewpoint was supported by other 'members', one of whom stated they did not believe the 'rubbish' about the monarchy attracting tourists to this country. The only person who dared to disagree with this suffered a torrent of abuse which had to be seen to be believed.

I had intended to link to these posts but on returning to the site to get the information needed I discovered that the entire series of exchanges had been heavily edited by the forum moderators with some posts being deleted altogether.

I suppose I should have expected something like this as some of the remarks were really, really nasty. However the editing has changed the entire tone. It now reads like an unwarranted and rather sarcastic attack by a new member instead of a vicious and unprovoked attack on that same new member by a bunch of twenty something Essex Girls.

Sunday, 17 May 2009

They'll be trying to dig him up next...

Glaswegians are often stereotyped as drunkards and/or thieves. Something which I've always thought was rather unfair to the many thousands of Glaswegian Puritans who neither drink nor steal, unlike the current batch in parliament, many of whom it now transpires do both with gleeful enthusiasm.

However I may have to reconsider my position on this after learning that Glasgow Council have 'appropriated' what is probably the most famous Welsh character in English literature - Merlin, Wizard and Adviser to King Arthur of Camelot.

A council spokeswoman said that Merlin - created by Welsh clergyman Geoffrey of Monmouth in the 12th century - had been added to a list of 'well-known' figures from the city based on a book by Scots advocate and amateur historian Adam Ardrey who spent six years 'researching' the matter.

Mr Ardrey claims to have discovered this while researching his own family name and while he doesn't specifically claim to be descended from Merlin, the implication is plain to see.

"I found that my name Ardrey was connected with the very first reference to Merlin, which had him fighting at the Battle of Arddreyd."

For anyone other than Glasgow Council, this sort of obsession would be taken as a sign of mental illness rather than a historical revelation.

Sadly, this sort of blatant theft is precisely what we are coming to expect from Glaswegian politicians.

Isn't it Mr Speaker...

Merlin magics up Glaswegian link

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Help! Help! I'm under attack!

I've been forced to temporarily enable comment moderation after some rather nasty racist remarks by some anonymous idiot.

I suppose this was inevitable given my antipathy towards these vermin and their insane compulsion to attack anyone who disagrees with them. However it appears that it was my suggestion that they had little chance of winning which really seems to have annoyed them.

But I suppose where your average fascist dictator type is concerned, telling the truth has always been one of the worst offences one can commit.

It certainly sounds good

Tory leader David Cameron made good on his promise to put Shadow Cabinet expenses online yesterday afternoon as part of his allegedly tough new policy on tory MPs expense claims.

Yes, I know. The very idea of the tories keeping a promise is shocking, but is this anything more than a desperate attempt to look as if they are genuinely committed to 'cleaning house'?

I'd say "Of course not" but then I would have to admit that I'm biased. However it is interesting to note that no tory MPs have been suspended yet. Not even those blatant fraudsters Andrew MacKay and his wife, Julie Kirkbride.

And what is our own glorious leadership's response to this action?

Nothing whatsoever...

Shadow Cabinet expense claims published online

Friday, 15 May 2009

Those who do not remember history...

Thing are looking increasingly grim for Elliot Morley with a party activist who campaigned for Morley when he was first elected threatening to stand against him as an independent if he doesn't quit.

If this sounds rather familiar, well so it should. This is an almost exact parallel of what happened at Tatton in the 1997 general election when a previously safe tory seat fell into the hands of a man who later described himself as "an accidental MP".

It's just rather unfortunate that Mr Maw felt the need to run around with his hands in the air screaming "The BNP are coming! The BNP are coming!"

Constituent may fight MP for seat

The Stress of Activism

This morning we were discussing the agenda for the weekend with some of the activists who are going to be out campaigning for the forthcoming European and local elections. The conversation eventually got round to the stress of campaigning on behalf of someone most people now see as a thieving toerag.

Whereupon one wag pointed out that this was nothing compared to the stress caused by resisting the temptation to beat the living daylights out of said thieving toerag.

Another one rides the bus (BNP mix)

It's no longer just New Labour activists and, increasingly, New Labour MPs who are using the 'threat' of the BNP in a desperate attempt to coerce voters into supporting them with blatant 'vote for us or the BNP will win' scaremongering tactics.

The tories have now jumped on the bandwagon with the launch of a new website entitled NothingBritish which opens with the slogan,

"There is Nothing British about the BNP"

Which unfortunately is probably the only untrue statement on the site. Something the authors would know if they got out of their nice, air conditioned offices and visited the real world once in a while.

Fortunately, despite all the panicmeisters running round waving their hands in the air and shouting "The BNP are coming! The BNP are coming", they actually have little chance of winning.

But just to be sure, if you cannot bring yourself to support the mainstream parties after their gross dishonesty then please vote for the UKIP in the European Elections next month.

Remember there are far worse 'alternatives'.

Thursday, 14 May 2009

Monochromatic Lunacy

I've just seen the Green's new European election campaign and I have to admit I've never seen a more blatantly opportunistic power-grab in my entire life.

The Green Party is offering itself as an 'alternative' to parties which are "mired in sleaze" with their leader, Caroline Lucas saying the party promised a "positive and clean" brand of politics.

The Greens are promising to save the environment, the economy and create a million new jobs as well. They plan to do this by pouring around £44bn into crackpot energy schemes which even the scheme's supporters freely admit cannot supply our energy needs now or ever.

The Greens plan to fund this by scraping nuclear weapons and nuclear power, along with windfall taxes on non-renewable energy firms and anyone else they consider to be environmentally unfriendly. They believe this would raise about £19bn with the rest coming from government borrowing.

The Greens describe this as a "Green New Deal".

And to round it off, their symbol for this plan is a poster sized banknote bearing the head of Caroline Lucas like some petty third world dictator.

Quite frankly, a far more appropriate place for her head would be on a pike in front of the polling station as a warning to voters that there are worse things than the UK Independence Party.

Too Little, Too Late?

Elliot Morley, MP for Scunthorpe, has been suspended until further notice and could face expulsion from the party when his case is discussed by the National Executive Committee in a meeting next Tuesday.

Gordo announced the suspension this afternoon at the launch of our now almost certainly doomed European and local election campaign.

If Morley survives the NEC meeting as he is likely to considering his close ties to the current leadership, then the CLP must take steps to select an alternative candidate if they are to retain any credibility at all.

It should not be necessary to remind CLP members what happened at Tatton in the 1997 general election after the Tatton Conservative Association refused to select an alternative candidate to the now throughly disgraced Neil Hamilton.

Double Act

Tory MP Andrew MacKay has 'resigned' his post as parliamentary adviser to David Cameron after it came to light that he had claimed the full second home allowance for their London home while his wife Julie Kirkbride, MP for Bromsgrove, had claimed the full second home allowance for their constituency home.

As we've come to expect, MacKay is defending this arrangement claiming that it had been agreed with the Fees Office, but has agreed to appear before David Cameron's scrutiny panel to discuss how much of this allowance should be paid back.

With such a blatant case of fraud - the second to be revealed in less than 24 hours - David Cameron should be pressing MacKay to stand down instead of simply resigning as an 'adviser' and agreeing to discuss whether he should repay some of the money.

More importantly, with such pitifully weak responses from both sides of the house, this may well have effectively handed control of the Commons to the first party to promise criminal proceedings against any MP who has defrauded the system as blatantly as Morley and MacKay have done.

But which one is the bigger joke?

I heard an appallingly bad joke from one of our activists last night.

After many, many years of hard work researchers have finally identified who put the c**t into Scunthorpe. They can now say with large degree of certainty that it was the people who voted for Elliot Morley MP.

This of course is a reference to his admission that he continued to claim £800 per month in mortgage payments for full 18 months after it had been paid off in 2006. Naturally he is claiming that this was a mistake and not a blatant fraud which would have landed anyone else in front of the local Crown Court.

While in extremely poor taste, this does show just how far the labour party has fallen when party activists are mocking the MPs they worked so hard to get elected in the first place.

MP repays mortgage expense error

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Another one rides the bus

Another new labour MP jumped on the tory's bandwagon this morning by offering to repay 'all' of the money claimed for "fittings, furniture and household items" for his second home over a five year period.

All this might seem like a good start but in reality is nothing more than a token gesture with the very worst offenders being conspicuously silent on the matter. It's certainly no coincidence that most of those making this 'gesture' have much smaller majorities than would be considered 'safe' under normal circumstances.

By comparison the Metropolitan Police - an organisation with a long history of corruption, greed and professional misconduct - arrested three of it's officers yesterday in connection with a number of offences relating to inflated expenses claims, including misconduct in a public office, conspiracy to defraud, theft and false accounting.

Anger grows over Hope's expenses
Labour minister to repay £41,709
Officers arrested over expenses

Anyone but the BNP

Tory Peer Norman Tebbit, former party chairman, is urging people to "teach the big parties a lesson" and "show them who is master" by boycotting them in the forthcoming European Elections. Lord Tebbit did not endorse any specific party but he did stress that he did not want people voting for the BNP.

It is interesting to note that one of the largest of these smaller parties are Eurosceptics as is Lord Tebbit himself so this is probably not a coincidence. Particularly as the UK Independence Party is the only one coming out of the expenses fiasco with clean hands having dealt "absolutely ruthlessly" with both Tom Wise and Ashley Mote after their 'financial irregularities' came to light.

More importantly, if the "public anger" and "sense of betrayal" which many political commentators have been referring to recently is reflected in the results of the next month's European elections then the UKIP could take a majority of the seats being contested.

Whether this would constitute the "pretty powerful shot across the bows" Lord Tebbit believes Tory, Lib-Dem and Labour MPs need is debatable but it's certainly not something they can afford to ignore.

Naturally, Lord Tebbit's own party are not too pleased with him about this and Tory leader David Cameron warned him that he risks being expelled from the tory group of peers.

Boycott big parties, says Tebbit

Monday, 11 May 2009

Away with the fairies

Well the apologies started in earnest this morning with Gordo jumping on the bandwagon at the Royal College of Nursing conference in Harrogate, North Yorkshire with the following lacklustre effort.

"I want to apologise on behalf of politicians on behalf of all parties for what has happened in the events of the last few days."

Fairly bland 'I'm sorry we got caught' nonsense of the sort one would expect from the socially retarded and not the Prime Minister of a modern democracy, but not totally unexpected of course. However he soon followed it up with this.

"We must show that, where mistakes have been made and errors have been discovered, where wrongs have to be righted, that it is done so immediately."

Mistakes? Errors? Is he totally deranged?

With everything which has been made public so far, it's difficult to comprehend how Gordo could still believe he can gloss any of this over as a mistake or an error.

I suppose the most charitable explanation is that the strain has finally pushed him over the edge and he is now living in some deluded fantasy where people still believe what he says.

Brown apology over MPs' expenses

Panic in da House

I heard a rumour this morning that certain members of the leadership have been discussing the possibility of calling an immediate general election.

If true, I can only assume that they are hoping this most singular act of desperation will distract attention from the expenses row and allow them to quietly sweep it under the rug during the fuss attending the run up to a general election.

This may save individual MPs, particularly if they fail to retain their seat as the tabloids will probably lose interest once they are out of office. Their readership certainly will as the majority of them have the attention span of a four year old. But in doing so, it will almost certainly destroy the Labour Party as an effective force in British politics. The 'two horse race' will once again be the sole province of the tories and the liberals.

However what's far more likely is that this rumour is simply an expression of the sense of panic prevalent amongst MPs as they await further revelations.

More importantly, it shows that new labour MPs simply do not care about the party or the people who elected them. It shows how they're willing to sacrifice this party's future to save their own miserable hides.

Thursday, 7 May 2009

The Laddie Vanishes

Tony Wright, chairman of the Commons public administration committee, is probably the only MP in the country who actually wants to see Damian McBride at the moment. He wants McBride to give evidence to the committee which is currently investigating the role of 'special advisers' in UK politics.

The only problem is he can't find him.

Strange as it may seem, for once the timing of this event isn't significant as McBride hasn't been seen in public since Gordo booted him out of no. 10 and, not surprisingly, no one is admitting to having seen him elsewhere either.

So, has he 'done a bunk' or have Gordo's blackshirts been 'cleaning house' Godfather style?

MPs 'seek to trace' aide McBride

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Unsuspecting eh?

For a long time now it's been generally recognised that the alleged deterrent effect of so-called 'safety cameras' is virtually non-existent. Many have suggested that it is and always has been nothing more than a cover story to hide their real purpose of raising revenue by penalising unsuspecting motorists.

Naturally there appears to be a certain degree of truth in this allegation until you consider the simple fact that these idiots wouldn't have been fined if they hadn't broken the law.

Nothing demonstrates this more clearly than the case of Tom Riall, chief executive of Serco Civil Government who was convicted of speeding at Sudbury Magistrates Court. Riall, who pleaded guilty to driving at 102.9mph on a 70mph road, was fined £300, banned for six months and had six penalty points added to his licence.

Quite frankly, with Serco having supplied more than 5000 'safety cameras' within the UK there are many things you might wish to call Tom Riall, but "unsuspecting" is certainly not one of them.

Speed camera boss in 100mph drive

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Waccy-Baccy 'outs' Gordo

It looks like that "significantly better advice" Gordo seemed to be getting is limited entirely to 'new media' if the photograph accompanying the following article from the BBC is anything to go by.

Brown 'right' man for UK - Smith

Naturally this comes as no surprise to those of us who have always suspected that Gordo's true political affiliations were somewhat further to the right than he is prepared to admit.

Ironically, one of Gordo's highly expensive PR team is former BBC producer Nicola Burdett who was hired precisely to prevent this sort of thing. A task in which she is obviously having rather mixed results.

Friday, 1 May 2009

Phoul Play or just a Phoul smell?

This morning I had my attention drawn to Phorm's new "Stop Phoul Play" website in which Phorm attacks it's critics and accuses them of "conducting a smear campaign" in what I can only describe as a deranged frenzy.

The site itself is an uninspired combination of the worse aspects of Microsoft's "Get The Facts" campaign, the copyright lobby's 'anti-piracy' propaganda and pre-war Nazi propaganda. It attempts to de-humanise it's critics by applying labels such as "Privacy Pirates", "The Angry Activist" and "The Concerned Consumer" to them in much the same way the Nazis did with European Jews.

A bit extreme?

Perhaps, but the use of de-humanising labels is extremely popular amongst those who's activities cannot stand up to scrutiny and while the Nazis were certainly one of the worst, they were neither the first nor the last to use such tactics. The copyright lobby's liberal use of the terms "pirate" and "freetard" to describe anyone opposed to their member's extortionate business practices is simply one example of this.

In this case it seems to have backfired rather badly and if anything, has only served to draw more attention to those critics and Phorm's alleged misconduct.

Quite frankly, the whole thing looks like something McBride and Draper might have cooked up after spending the entire afternoon in the pub. However the idea appears to have actually come from right-wing tory attack-rat Patrick Robertson, a 'PR consultant' who's own history of blunders rivals that of McBride.

Robertson's previous 'clients' include convicted perjurer Jonathan Aitken and it was while acting for Aitkin that he rather infamously faxed a confidential memo to the wrong number. A blunder he later compounded by surreptitiously obtaining the recipient's ex-directory phone number in order to leave a message on his answering machine asking for the fax to be returned.

This remarkable display of bad judgement can be found here:-

Stop Phoul Play

Some of the media coverage can be found here:-

The Register article 1
The Guardian
The Register article 2

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Honest guv, it just broke

Scattered amongst the usual rubbish in my mailbox this morning were a number of emails saying the e-petition I mentioned on Friday telling Gordo to 'get lost' was unavailable yesterday.

It's back now but it was an interesting time to have a computer failure don't you think?

With hindsight I suppose I should have expected something like this but I must admit, not being a technically minded person, the thought of what was almost certainly a deliberately induced breakdown simply didn't occur to me.

I have no doubt that Gordo would have simply ignored the e-petition no matter how many people had 'signed' it but a sufficiently large number would have been rather embarrassing to say the least. So by heading off the initial morning surge of people doing 'anything but work' in this way, the number can be kept down as the vast majority simply won't bother trying again.

This suggests that Gordo is getting significantly better advice on 'new media' than he was previously and judging by his past performance, it certainly isn't coming from Damian McBride.

Monday, 27 April 2009

A very good reason indeed

I hear that Town Councillor Chris Precious has been commenting on my somewhat 'erratic' posting history.

Well the reason for that is quite simple really. I'm not a lazy fat tory sitting on my arse in the Republic of Eire with my feet on the desk and my money in an offshore tax haven.

More tea anyone?

Friday, 24 April 2009

You tell him. No, YOU tell him.

Gordo may be in danger of being hung with his own 'web'-ing if an online e-petition started by Kalvis Jansons is successful. The petition's message is clear and simple.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to resign

I suspect that few if any seriously expect it to have the slightest effect, particularly as the whole e-petitions thing is a part of the same nonsense as LabourList. Not surprisingly, it's proving very popular and in the few hours it's been available, it's gained more than 3000 'signatures' putting it in the top 50 and the front page of the open petitions list.

Yes, I know. A drop in the ocean. But it would be rather ironic if the instrument of Gordo's demise was the very same 'new media' he was so desperate to manipulate and which back-fired so badly costing him one of his most trusted hatchet-men.

Whatever the outcome, the petition's very existence is almost certain to provoke a paroxysm of rage and I fully expect some of his staff will be sporting fresh bruises in the morning.

The Register's original article inviting Gordo to "Pick a Window!" is here or alternatively, you can just go straight to the petition here.

Lies, Damn Lies and Tax Calculations

I'm seeing a lot of nonsense being talked about Gordo's new top rate of tax, particularly over on the Guido Fawkes Blog where his latest claim is that "for the government to take more than half your income is not social justice".

Well I'd certainly agree with him if that were the case but it isn't. The most charitable explanation is that he is mistaken rather than deliberately misrepresenting the facts which, while a bit odd for someone who "spent several years in Finance", is entirely understandable for a political commentator. Mind you, he did go bankrupt didn't he...

The most common 'misconception' I've seen is that the new rate applies to the whole amount. It doesn't. It applies to anything over £150,000, so if you earn £160,000 then there's a slim chance that you might have to pay the 50% rate on £10,000 of that if - and only if - Gordo doesn't come up with an excuse to either postpone it or revoke it entirely before it takes effect next year.

Add in personal allowances and the lower rates which apply to any income under £150,000 and the net total is significantly less than half. But your personal accountant already told you that didn't he?

On a related note I had my attention drawn to a comment from some finance type - probably one of the red-braced yobs who caused Black Monday judging from his rhetoric - bewailing his fate and listing the many things this country will lose if he leaves, two private school places, two cleaners, a gardener, a part-time groom, a part-time farrier, an au-pair, 5 vehicles...

And to round off this rather childish temper tantrum, he's cancelling the charity evening he's hosting on behalf of the County Ambulance Service.

Now if that's not a childish act of spite then I really don't know what is...

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Did he really think we wouldn't notice?

There were no major surprises in today's budget which was the expected mixed bag of political fence mending and neo-tory toadying to big business.

A half-hearted swipe at greedy individuals with a new top income tax rate of 50% for earnings over £150,000 and the abolition of tax relief on their pensions was balanced with incentives for greedy corporations to be behave even worse by doubling capital allowances and allowing 'loss-making' firms to reclaim the last three years of tax up to 2010, along with outright bribery for the motor industry by offering gullible idiots £2000 to scrap perfectly good vehicles when they buy a new one.

The really 'clever' part was scheduling the tax increase to take effect from April next year and abolition of tax relief from April 2011 giving him the appearance of having listened to the screams and yells of public outrage over 'fat-cat' greed while giving Gordo plenty of time to revoke both of these measures before they take effect.

I expect that he will simply claim they're not longer needed regardless of whether the economy bounces back as rapidly as he is hoping it will or not. But just in case he's given them another year to line their pockets and another two to pad their pensions.

Free swimming for your parents but not your kids

At the end of last month Olympic swimmer Mark Foster, 400m Freestyle World Record holder Joanne Jackson, Paralympic Gold Medallist Heather Frederiksen and a handful of the usual ministerial suspects launched a national scheme to provide free swimming to anyone 16 or under and the over 60s using money the Department of Culture, Media and Sport made available last year for the purpose.

Yes, I know. The idea of Gordo's government helping out local people instead of the large corporations they'll be looking to for jobs after the general election is such an alien concept that Dover District Council can be forgiven for being suspicious.

What they cannot be forgiven for is accepting the money for over 60s and not the 16 or unders.

Their official reason for this is it would cost too much to implement. Which would be entirely plausible were it not for the fact I have been unable to get a straight answer out of them about what these costs are or where they would be incurred.

The fact that a tory controlled local authority is giving away 'freebies' to one group which can vote and withholding the same 'freebies' from a group which cannot is purely coincidental of course.


I've just had the following Freedom of Information request brought to my attention:- FOI Request - Free Swimming Scheme

It will be interesting to see what convoluted excuses Dover District Council comes up with to avoid releasing information which they must have had in a readily accessible form in order to make their decision.

Misapplied Misdirection?

Former UK Independence Party MEP Tom Wise was charged with false accounting and money laundering on Monday following his arrest in June of last year. Tom Wise is the second UKIP MEP to face criminal charges related to his finances in recent years. In September 2007 Ashley Mote, MEP for South East England, was sentenced to nine months imprisonment after being convicted of 21 offences relating to benefit fraud.

However it is the timing of this which is significant and suggests a desperate attempt by Gordo's 'blackshirts' to distract attention away from themselves.

Whether this will actually work is anyone's guess, but it's interesting to compare the UK Independence Party's reaction to financial misconduct with that of our own. Where the labour leadership immediately leapt to the defence of Waccy-Baccy and the Four Lords of the Graft, even - it is alleged - to the extent of Waccy-Baccy ordering the City of London police to drop their investigation into the latter. The UKIP immediately suspended then later expelled both Ashley Mote and Tom Wise.

If Gordo's 'blackshirts' want to be sure of distracting attention then they should throw one of their new labour glove puppets to the wolves. It couldn't possibly cause the party anymore harm than they have already done and it's much safer than throwing a Tory. They would undoubtedly retaliate in kind with fairly predictable consequences.

Monday, 20 April 2009

The Order of the Boot?

The Guido Fawkes Blog is reporting that members of the Finchley and Golders Green CLP are to vote on McBride's expulsion from the party on May 11th with the group's recommendations going to the General Committee on the 27th.

Quite frankly I think they're taking a hell of a risk. McBride is one of Gordo's 'blackshirts' and if recent 'revelations' are anything to go by, anyone supporting a motion to expel him could very well end up as their next target.

Furthermore, even if the CLP were to vote for a recommendation to expel him and the committee accepted that recommendation, it is unlikely to be permanent and could in fact be no more than a token gesture, a 'slap-on-the-wrist' for getting caught.

In any event, this would have little effect as expulsion from the party won't prevent him from giving 'advice' to senior party members or the leadership. However he would not only have to learn the meaning of the word 'discretion', but actually start practising it as well.


I had a very strange experience in W.H.Smiths this morning while waiting to be served. The young lady operating the till 'ran out' of two pound coins and asked me to wait while she phoned upstairs for more despite the fact I could clearly see she had a drawer full of one pound coins. She then proceeded to argue with the person on the other end of the phone insisting that she was really desperate and needed more two pound coins NOW!!!

When I ventured to suggest that one pound coins were fine with me she said that this wouldn't take long and continued to argue with the other person becoming quite annoyed at what was obviously a refusal.

She eventually served me and included a two pound coin in my change which rather left me wondering if I'd missed something significant along the way.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Would the last Socialist to leave the party please turn out the lights

I was saddened but not particularly surprised to hear that Alice Mahon had resigned her membership of the Labour Party. For some time now she has been increasing unhappy with the current labour leadership, most of whom are now further to the right than many tories.

Alice Mahon was a long standing member and a genuine 'Leftie', both of which are about as welcome in Peter Mandelson's new labour as the Bubonic Plague would be. So for senior party members to 'privately' call her a traitor and suggest she was just another rat leaving a sinking ship was throughly despicable but pretty much what we've come to expect.

I must admit that while I disagreed with her quite strongly on many things it did make me smile to realise that she had managed to get the last word. This is not the Labour Party which I joined all those years ago either.

Thursday, 16 April 2009

A quick trip to the laundry?

I've just received an email pointing me in the direction of this article on a Mirror staff photographer's blog showing Draper in a taxi with his computer in a large stripy shopping bag.

By now he's probably back home with his computer all scrubbed and squeaky clean.

Honest guv, it's nothing to do with us

Iain Hain has a 'leaked' copy of a email to the National Executive Committee from general secretary Ray Collins in which he attempts to distance himself from both Draper and LabourList.

Nice try Ray but I'm sorry, it just won't wash. It's common knowledge both inside and outside the party that the whole thing was your idea in the first place. That you personally recruited Draper to chair the thing and that all of it's meetings were held at party headquarters with senior party members in attendance.

Why not simply be honest about it and say Draper exceeded his mandate? After all that is what happened, isn't it?

By the way, getting the press officers to point everyone to a Tory blog was a bit too bloody obvious. Even a Tory would be able to smell that one a mile off.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Anyone's fault but theirs...

I've been following the Draper/McBride nonsense on and off over the weekend in between doing other things. That they got caught conspiring to smear other politicians in such a fashion does not surprise me. It's not the first time they've done this sort of thing and with neither of them being familiar with the concepts of subtlety or discretion the only surprise is that they didn't get caught sooner.

However to continue trying to blame everyone else for their own stupidity even after they've resigned suggests mental illness rather than simply a stubborn refusal to accept the consequences of their own actions.

That, along the correspondingly stupid remarks made by senior party members who leaped to their defence, only served to provide more ammunition for that right wing toerag Paul Staines, author of the Guido Fawkes Blog.

The following item about Waccy-Baccy seems somewhat anti-climatic by comparison - Blue Plaque.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Waccy-Baccy is ever so sorry...

I missed Ms Waccy-Baccy's performance on Radio 4's Today programme but I understand she came out with the tired old chestnuts of "I'm sorry" and "It was a mistake" while trying to defend her misuse of MPs allowances.

Quite frankly, I think that was incredibly stupid of her and unlikely to convince anyone except soap-opera fans who will believe pretty much anything you tell them no matter how ridiculous. It certainly wouldn't convince a magistrates court which hears the same two excuses several times a day from shoplifters and other petty thieves.

More importantly, her increasingly desperate attempts to keep her snout in the trough are in danger of provoking a public backlash which will cost the party more than just her seat in the commons.

Monday, 6 April 2009

Spoof Proof?

Two American 'researchers' have come up with an alternative to conventional biometric security systems based on iris and fingerprint scans which they claim will provide greater resistance to "spoofing".

X-Ray photographs of the knee.

No, I kid ye not. X-Ray photographs of the knee.

I realise this might seem a bit ridiculous, and somewhat risky considering that the medical profession has spent the past twenty or more years telling us that X-Rays are dangerous. However there are potential benefits in addition to increased 'spoof' resistance.

Passports and other identification documents would contain an embedded dosimeter which would require checking and replacement every year generating an additional revenue stream for the passport office and the nuclear medicine support industries.

It would stimulate the employment market by forcing early retirement for those who had reached their lifetime exposure limit.

The domestic holiday market would benefit by discouraging people from taking holidays abroad and by forcing those who do to remain in this country after they reach their exposure limit.

Border security would be enhanced by making those who regularly travel using falsified documents easily detectable due to residual radiation. The worst offenders could be identified by the fairly obvious signs of radiation sickness or simply by switching off the lights and looking to see who glows in the dark.

The domestic garment industry would experience a resurgence as the demand for protective underwear such as lead-lined y-fronts and corsets increased. Men with certain 'cultural' prejudices would require additional layers of lead foil to protect their precious 'manhood'. This would result in a characteristic nappy-like bulge allowing underage girls and women who prefer their eggs unfertilised to avoid them like the plague.

A small but profitable sideline would also exist in providing lead-lined boxer shorts for American visitors - no true Englishman would be caught dead wearing such a ridiculous garment.

Naturally Dover would be at the front of such technological innovations and the sight of passport control officers in radiation-proof protective clothing would quickly become common place as would the bluish glow from the vicinity of passport control.

Seriously though, this is not a new idea. Previous studies of similar methodologies concluded that the serious health risks associated with X-Ray radiation were an insurmountable problem and strange as it may seem, one of this pair actually works for the US National Institutes of Health. What precise capacity isn't specified but I sincerely hope it's not a medical one.

Oh and by the way - it doesn't work...

Saturday, 4 April 2009

An offer they couldn't refuse?

Another rights collection agency's extortion racket hit a bump in the road earlier this week when YouTube blocked German access to thousands music videos less than a month after blocking almost all "premium" content in the UK.

Neither the newly formed Featured Artists Coalition nor rabid 'psycho-leftie' Billy Bragg - a man who's political rhetoric makes Chairman Mao look like a Lib-Dem - wasted any time at all in jumping on the bandwagon and condemning Google for "use of its near-monopoly to dictate terms to PRS for Music".

Something which these 'collection agencies' have been doing to the rest of us since long before the Mountain View Funny-Farm ever existed.

While I like to see people defying bullies and extortionists like the PRS, this is more like rival organised crime families in twenties America fighting a turf war for control of the rackets - alcohol, gambling, prostitution, extortion, etc.

But what really disgusts me is the actions of the Featured Artists Coalition. These are the very same people who have spent years screaming about how they're being ripped off by record labels and collection agencies, demanding a bigger slice of the income from sales and licensing, demanding more control over their own work.

I've always agreed with them in the past. They are being ripped off. They should have a bigger slice of the income and more control over their own work.

But now they're screaming in support of the collection agencies. One of whom is notorious for attacking schools, charity events, local businesses and even it's own members, preventing them from performing their own work because the venue had not purchased a license from the PRS.

Perhaps someone made them an offer they couldn't refuse...

Friday, 3 April 2009

Myths and Legends

As if Jacqui Smith didn't have enough trouble with her "idiot husband" and his 'inappropriate behaviour', there is now a rumour going round that she and Gordon Brown have been having an illicit affair.

This is complete and utter nonsense of course. Gordon Brown may be many things but stupid is certainly not one of them. Even now with some signs that his mental abilities may starting to deteriorate due to stress he would not get involved in something which could only end very, very badly.

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

A Very Special Offer...

There's been a considerable amount of sniggering going on around here today, both school-boyish and otherwise, along with much gleeful reading aloud of excerpts from various newspapers and online articles. We especially liked Playboy TV's offer to supply all MPs with a special VIP subscription called the "Jacq off special" which they will even bill under the traditional titles of ‘entertainment’ or ‘personal trainer.’

And to cap it all, the icing on the cake was Gordo being overheard saying he wasn't going to sack Waccy-Baccy just because her idiot husband couldn't be trusted not to play with himself while she was away.

If anyone thinks we're being unfair to Ms Waccy-Baccy then let me remind you that she has done more damage to the party since being appointed Home Secretary than Peter Mandelson and the Four Lords of the Graft put together. Furthermore, like any playground bully she has taken a considerable amount of spiteful pleasure not only in dictating to other people what they can and cannot do in the privacy of their own homes, but also in rubbing their faces in the fact that she can.

And finally, let us not forget that she brought all this on herself because she couldn't resist the urge to falsify her expenses.

Monday, 30 March 2009

Of all the stupid...

On a list of the ten most stupid things the Home Secretary could have done getting caught falsifying her expenses for the second time has to rank fairly high. That the expense item concerned includes two pornographic films at a time when she and the Prime Minister are conducting a witch-hunt against ordinary citizens because of their sexual preferences is simply despicable.

If this party is to stand any chance of retaining more than a minority presence after the general election then she must demonstrate unequivocally that she is willing to be held to the same standards laid down by her office for everyone else by resigning her seat in the commons.

One of our activists recently asked me how he was supposed to persuade people to vote Labour in the wake of the four greedy twerps scandal. I told him that I didn't know but that he should do his best anyway. Perhaps I should have told him not to waste his time.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Follow A1 (M) to Junction...

If a spate of recent news reports are to be believed, in car satellite navigation systems are the biggest threat to road safety since the mobile phone.

This is not entirely true of course. It's the idiots who switch their brain into neutral and slavishly follow the machine's instructions regardless of where they lead, be it a narrow footpath leading to a cliff, the track of the main Doncaster to Hull railway line or Stamford Bridge in Yorkshire instead of Chelsea Football Club's ground in West London.

There's a book on display in the window of a local bookshop entitled "GPS for Dummies". I think the title says it all really...

Monday, 23 March 2009

Some things never change...

I've never been much of a cinema-goer, not even as a kid in the days before home video. One of the main reasons for this was the vast majority of cinemas were real 'flea-pits' and my local cinema - the only one for miles and now long since demolished - was a particularly nasty example of this. Expensive, uncomfortable and downright filthy.

The staff were rude, unhelpful and on one occasion, frighteningly aggressive after my friend got stuck in the toilet when the door bolt jammed. Naturally we got the blame for this instead of the lack of cleaning and maintenance which was almost certainly the real cause. We were frog-marched across the foyer to the front doors and physically pushed out onto the street.

As you would expect my parents were horrified and immediately complained first to the manager, then to the head office and on both occasions were simply told not to come back if they didn't like it.

Cinemas could get away with this sort of behaviour then because there were no alternatives, it was - as the saying goes - "The Only Game in Town".

As you would expect, this was the last time I visited a cinema until I started dating many years later and I never visited that particular one ever again.

Fast-forward mumble-mumble years and despite the alleged competition from 'home video' little if anything seems to have changed. The majority of cinemas are still expensive, uncomfortable and downright filthy. The staff are still treating their customers like something a dairy farmer might have stepped in as the following story from the BBC clearly shows - Police threat in cinema sweet row.

This is not the first time staff employed by this particular cinema chain have been accused 'heavy-handedness'. A brief trawl through an online newspaper archive turned up a catalogue of complaints ranging from bullying and threatening behaviour to assault and theft of a mobile phone belonging to a 12 year old girl which was apparently "mislaid" after being "confiscated" by cinema staff.

By comparison our little Silver Screen down by the Market Square is in a class of it's own. The seats may be no more comfortable than anywhere else but they are certainly no worse, it's reasonably priced and it is clean. You don't need to have a bath afterwards or even wipe your feet on the way out. But far, far more important is the attitude of the staff. Friendly, helpful and polite - even when they have to deal with what could be described as 'youthful exuberance'.

Perhaps it is time large cinema chains like Cineworld went the same way as travelling circuses. It's certainly time local councils took a closer look at how these premises are being run before granting and/or renewing their licenses.

Saturday, 14 March 2009

Don't I have enough to do already?

It's been an extremely busy few weeks with little time left over for things like DoverWatch, not least of which because of certain deranged idiots at party headquarters who have convinced themselves that we can win the next general election "if we work hard enough".

I have no idea what this conviction is based upon but I'm fairly certain it's not our own research which clearly shows we haven't got a snowball's chance in hell of winning. Either now or in the foreseeable future.

As things stand we would probably end up with around 150 seats having lost most of the marginals and several previously safe seats. Naturally this could change at the drop of a hat - after all, a week can be a long time in politics - and if things go badly enough we could end up as a minority party for the first time since the end of the Second World War. All it would take is another scandal or two.

Dover in particular is a lost cause despite everything Gwen Prosser has done simply because the cowards who currently make up the Cabinet are too scared to 'grasp the nettle' for fear that the tabloids might call them nasty names and/or criticise their decisions. Something which they are going to do anyway.

Saturday, 21 February 2009

Temper, Temper...

Satire, especially political satire, has a long history going back over three hundred years in this country and much further in what is now the middle east with some material from even further back - ancient Egypt, Greece and the Roman Empire - generally being accepted as satirical in nature. A long and distinguished history by any standard.

It is at this point that so-called 'social scientists' go into the sort of long, tediously boring and throughly deranged analysis guaranteed to drive any sane person to hide in a corner gibbering in abject fear.

I'll simply say that satire usually has a serious point to make. A fact which was not lost on Ms Waccy-Baccy if her reaction to a recent article in the Journal of Psychopharmacology is anything to go by.

No, I'd never heard of it either and probably never would have were it not for her temper tantrum.

Written by Professor David Nutt of the University of Bristol, the article in question compares society's perception of risk in taking ecstacy with that of "equasy" or Equine Addiction Syndrome and found that horse riding resulted in acute harm to a person once in 350 episodes as opposed to ecstacy which only caused acute harm once in 10,000 episodes.

And if this wasn't sufficient to infuriate the woman who last year told a select group of chief police officers that the scientific evidence was "irrelevant", the article went on to ask the question "Why are harmful sporting activities permitted, whereas relatively less harmful drugs are not?" in what may have been an unintentional parallel with the controversial Alcohol vs. Cannabis debate.

I understand that the learned gentleman subsequently received what was described as "a severe talking to" from Ms Waccy-Baccy and while she hasn't taken to throwing chairs yet, I understand she can be quite mean with a sharpened pencil. Something I'd rather not witness first hand as I'm no longer as quick on my feet as I used to be.

Monday, 9 February 2009

Stiffer Penalties?

Iain Coucher, Chief Executive of Network Rail wants stiffer penalties for the suicidal idiots who 'jump the lights' at level crossings. For some unfathomable reason, he seems to believe that this will help discourage offenders from behaviour which "has the potential for massive damage, disruption and death".

Which is a bit silly really. If the possibility of being hit by a train weighing in excess of 90 tons and travelling at 60mph doesn't act as a deterrent then it's rather unlikely that anything else will.

Of course, actually being killed by a train would stop them from re-offending but a longer ban and/or a few more points on their license certainly won't.

Friday, 30 January 2009

Vigilante Express now boarding at platform 5

As if the 'extreme pornography' law itself wasn't bad enough along comes a bunch of vigilante thugs calling themselves "extremeporn".

Their website starts with the rather worrying statement:-

Welcome to the website of the one and only (at present) enforcers of the 'Extreme Porn Law'

and while parts of the website seem to be somewhat ambiguous - mentioning technologies intended to evade unwarranted censorship and snooping - the overall message is quite clear. If the police won't actively pursue these 'criminals' then they will.

From what I understand of their proposed methods, accuracy is not a high priority. As my techie friend explained it to me, these methods are identical to those being used by ambulance chasing shysters Davenport-Lyons who in November of last year falsely accused an elderly lady in her 70's of unlawfully filesharing gay porn.

In fact apart from their motivation, the only area in which they differ is their intended use for the IP addresses they 'acquire' by these methods. Davenport-Lyons currently use them as the basis of misleading and factually inaccurate threatening letters, while this group intends to submit abuse reports to the appropriate ISP. Which I presume they will expect the ISP to act upon without any supporting evidence whatsoever.

Naturally there is alway the possibility that the whole thing is a hoax along similar lines to that of Think of the Children. Paul Carr's sarcastic and now rather notorious satire on tabloid reporting which was unlawfully closed down in 2002 at the request of the Metropolitan Police following a complaint from an editor at one of the publications being parodied. A copy of Think of the Children can be found <here>

In contrast, this website seems to be missing a significant number of key elements one would expect to find in a hoax - exaggerated claims, elaborate and unworkable technologies, ridiculous demands, etc. The FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) does contain the tabloid-esque statement "Media trials can be just as effective as court ones", but it's not a obvious satire in the way Think of the Children was. The overall tone is much more serious and much darker.

However as a senior physician recently suggested to me in connection with another matter, you should read it for yourself.