Sunday, 30 August 2009

Be careful dear. That doesn't look very safe.

I was doing some research on the internet earlier today when I came across a 'Grow Your Own' style website / forum.

As always with the internet in general, it contained some very good advice along with the not-so-good, the bad and the downright bloody dangerous!

On this occasion some of the 'members' were advising one visitor to take a pan of boiling water into the garden so that sweet-corn could be put straight into the pan immediately after picking.

This 'advice' apparently came from some idiot woman on TV and - allegedly - prevents the sweet-corn from deteriorating as the sugars - allegedly once again - instantly start turning into starch as soon as it's picked.

There are several things wrong with this of course.

First, the idea that garden produce immediately starts deteriorating the moment it's harvested is complete nonsense. Much of it actually continues to ripen.

Second, no matter how small your garden by the time you get to the plant, remove the cob and strip the leaves off, the one thing you can be sure of is the water won't be boiling anymore.

But far more importantly, carrying a pan of boiling water around a garden is nothing less than sheer bloody lunacy! While covering the pan will probably stop it from slopping over the sides, nothing is going to stop it spilling if you trip over something. If you're lucky you may simply kill a patch of grass or a few plants.

The 'advice' given by other 'members' wasn't quite so deranged suggesting that the sweet-corn should be picked and the leaves stripped while running towards the kitchen where the cob should be plunged into a pan of boiling water.

There was also one member who suggested picking and eating it raw directly from the plant which I suppose might be ok if you haven't used any chemicals such as fertilisers or insecticides etc.

Or the local wildlife hasn't shit on it in passing.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Mandleblotted Again

Our Peter's reputation as a 'Mr Fix-It' has taken something of a bashing recently. Not only did he make a complete pig's ear of cleaning up the mess Waccy-Baccy made when she ordered the City of London Police to drop their investigation into the unlawful interception and monitoring of BT Internet customers by BT and Phorm - Yes I know. The more perceptive of you did realise this was the real reason Peter was brought back into the Cabinet by Gordo.

Now he's been caught with his hand down the front of David Geffen's trousers - figuratively speaking of course - by going on holiday with him then immediately on his return, ordering the re-inclusion of proposals which would see people disconnected from the internet following a complaint of 'copyright violation' without any evidence of misconduct whatsoever.

Naturally this is being touted as a coincidence despite Peter having shown very little interest in the Digital Britain report before. A fact which did not go unnoticed by the Tories, some of whom have been laughing themselves silly at the sight of Peter having shot himself in the foot yet again.

A previous generation used to talk of 'blotting one's copybook' - something which was considered quite serious at the time - and I have to wonder just how many more times Peter will be allowed to 'blot his copybook' before he's sent to Headmaster Brown for a caning.

Although it does occur to me that given their known 'proclivities', that is something which they will probably both enjoy.

Thursday, 13 August 2009

A Very Narrow Escape

A young mother from Dover and her three year old daughter had a very narrow escape last Thursday when the brakes on her car failed completely just one week after the front discs had been replaced by a main dealership in Canterbury.

When examined by the AA at their garage in Whitfield, one of the brake lines was found to be split across the line and the other had become completely detached from the brake calliper assembly.

A few minutes research on the Internet made it very clear what had happened, even to a mechanical dunce like myself.

The giveaway was the repeated warnings to support the brake calliper assembly after it's removal and not to allow it's weight to place a strain on the brake lines or allow the lines to become 'kinked'.

The possible consequences of not supporting the weight of the callipers?

"The brake lines may split, crack or become detached."

I must admit to having something of a personal interest in this case as I also had new front discs from this very same dealership just over a month ago and given the way I drive, I am unlikely to have been so fortunate had this happened to me.

Naturally I'm having my brakes checked by the AA on Monday. Until then I shall be driving very, very carefully.