Ivybank

Last week I received an email from the new deputy manager at Ivybank Residential Care Home which is reopening tomorrow under new ownership.

She didn't go into a great deal of detail but did mention that the premises have been extensively refurbished and redecorated, has new management, new staff, etc.

I understand that their recent open day was fairly well attended by the usual suspects. Social Services, local care managers, prospective clients... Well... Their younger relatives actually... All of whom were described as being suitable impressed by the premises and the staff.

Unfortunately none of the local councillors were able to attend which they naturally found a bit disappointing. With local elections later this week, I certainly wouldn't have missed the opportunity to 'show my support' for local business.


One thing I was slightly surprised to hear was that the new owner is keeping the existing name. As some of you may know, Ivybank was closed just before Christmas last year.

I don't have many details and what I do have certainly wouldn't help the new owner - mud sticks as the saying goes. Suffice it to say that the only connection with the previous regime is a single member of the night staff.

Needless to say, I wish them all the very best of British Luck.


By an interesting coincidence, the young lady who emailed me is the former accounts clerk from W.H.Smiths who seems to have 'landed on her feet' after the appalling way she was treated there.

After all the manager's assurances about being "fair", she was the only one to lose her job. While the abusive individual who brought her husband along to help 'browbeat' the manager didn't lose a single hour, despite having received a written warning last year for exactly the same thing, sans-husband.

Naturally, having now made a sort of 'personal' contact with her. I grabbed the opportunity to get her version of the events leading up to her 'departure'.

Or rather, I tried to...

She wasn't very forthcoming. In fact, I suspect she thought I was being just a little impertinent as she was quite blunt in telling me to 'Bugger Off!'

One thing is for certain. Unlike the previous owner and their 24 year old manager, this young lady won't compromise on important issues such as patient care. Or anything else for that matter...

Over Our Dead Bodies!

I was much amused to see Bob Goldfield's pathetic attempts to bribe DHB staff and their families fail so spectacularly.

With more than 97% of the Dover residents who turned out voting in favour of a 'People's Port' , it was as clear a message telling him where to stick his proposal as you can get.

As you would expect from someone with 'close ties' to the Tories, he's blaming the whole thing on his staff for "not getting DHB's message across to the public".

This is complete nonsense of course. The residents of Dover understand his proposal only too well which is why they voted so overwhelmingly for the alternative.

Naturally this hasn't stopped him from 'bending ears' and 'making promises' up in London, and while he might describe this as 'getting his message across' it still looks like plain old fashioned bribery to me.

Artchas Coart Skool

By now everyone has no doubt heard about the ‘incident’ at Archers Court or as it is now known Dover Christchurch Academy.

There’s certainly been enough coverage of it in the media with some ‘parents’ actually supporting the actions of the pupils.

What hasn’t received much in the way of media attention is the injuries sustained by staff and pupils who refused to take part or were otherwise uninvolved. Nor has there been any significant coverage of the ongoing harassment and assaults on those pupils.

While I can’t say very much as I don’t wish to risk prejudicing the ongoing investigation. I’m sure it will come as no surprise to learn that this is due for the most part to pressure from KCC to ‘play it down’. One media outlet, the KM Group, actually went so far as to falsely claim that no one had been injured.

Naturally KCC are claiming this is for the benefit of the pupils and not simply to spare them the embarassment of having yet again failed miserably to address the ongoing problem of Archers Court.

As for those ‘parents’ who expressed their support. These are the same ones who support the closure of both grammar schools and Astor College because - they claim - it gives the pupils who attend them an “unfair advantage”.

By “unfair advantage” I suspect they mean it’s depriving their children of the opportunity to persecute anyone younger, smaller or more intelligent than them without fear of reprisal as they themselves did for far, far too many years.

Would YOU vote for him?

I was rather amused to hear of a certain local politician who is refusing to have a vasectomy because he thinks it might have an adverse effect on his chances of being re-elected.

No, this is not a joke. He genuinely seems to believe that some people will not vote for him if he has ‘The Snip’.

I would suggest that only a devout Catholic could be so daft - the Catholic Church has made it’s feelings on the matter abundantly clear on many occasions - but he isn’t a Catholic, devout or otherwise, and the Catholics won’t vote for him anyway because he’s one of us “Godless Heathen” or Atheists as we’re more commonly called.

Alternatively, he may have been talking to the Knuckle-Draggers of the Tabloid Press Readers Association and/or men with certain 'cultural' prejudices - both of whom have condemned vasectomy as a “cruel and barbaric” practice - but they won’t vote for him either as he neither shares their prejudices nor panders to them.

Still... As pathetic excuses go, it’s certainly the most original I’ve heard for a while and it does make a change from the usual childish whining about their precious ‘manhood’.

Is that all there is?

I been hearing a lot of people complaining about this year’s Dover carnival which took place Sunday.

Boring, wasn’t worth the effort, etc. The usual sort of nonsense I expect from members of the Whingers and Whiners Club for whom it seems, nothing is ever good enough.

Unfortunately on this occasion I would have to agree with them. Most people did seem to find it disappointing, particularly those who had made a special trip to see it.

However I would ask everyone to remember that the organisers did the best they could under very difficult circumstances and while it might have been better to cancel it this year, that would have set a bad precedent. If cancelled under the present circumstances there is no guarantee it would take place again in the foreseeable future. Something which even I would like to avoid if possible despite my personal distaste for certain aspects of it.

As for the miserable sods from the Whingers and Whiners Club. Who knows what goes on in their minds...

Rogue Waves

I was at the Waves cafe in De Bradelei Wharf a couple of weeks ago when I overheard two of the staff discussing how they could get rid of the new cook.

Apparently one of them wanted ‘her’ job back.

Their idea was to plant something in the cook’s bag then inform the manager they had seen her put it there.

At the time I simply ignored it. I hear a lot of this sort of petty spiteful gossip - it’s difficult to avoid it given the size of my ears. A right ‘princely’ pair as one of my colleagues once joked.

However I was back there again at the weekend and was reminded of this rather nasty little tete-a-tete when I learned that the cook they were referring to had been dismissed last week - for theft.

Now this could simply be a coincidence of course, but as a friend in the Kent Constabulary once remarked,

Not even the Commissioner of the Met is stupid enough to believe that!

Indeed he did

Earlier today I received a text msg saying "You really have to see this" followed by several grinning smilies and a link to a post on DoverLocals.

Possessing the usual primate curiosity I had a look. Then looked at the link in that post which leads back to a post on here...

And started laughing when I realised all that carefully crafted - and not so carefully crafted - abuse had completely gone to waste. The intended recipient had been away and simply did not know it had ever existed!

Absolutely Priceless.

Did I miss something?

I've only been away a week... (Part 3)

Closer to home, I had my attention drawn to DoverLocals. A local forum which had a post from one member suggesting that the UKIP had an "unrealistic worldview".

Naturally this is a matter of opinion, but on looking at some of the other opinions being expressed there I'd have to say that by their own standards, it's not just the UKIP which have an unrealistic worldview.

Mind you, I was amused by the suggestion that Chris Precious and Vic Matcham should stand on behalf of the Monster Raving Loony Party. A bit unfair on Chris I know, but Vic has always been potential Monster Raving Loony material and as for the thought of those two in Brussels...

What wasn't so amusing was evidence that the anti-monarchy campaign led by the Murdock press is still producing twisted results many years after it dribbled away to nothing with even Murdock himself admitting it had been a dismal failure.

Murdock blamed British apathy but I suspect it had rather more to do with the fact that the vast majority of the tabloid readership has the attention span of a four year old and an unhealthy obsession with certain parts of the female anatomy.

It started with Vic suggesting that the Queen should intervene in the current political crisis which one 'member' took as an opportunity to dribble on incoherently about the monarchy, suggesting that abolishing it would allow us to address homelessness and properly equip our troops in Iraq.

This rather twisted viewpoint was supported by other 'members', one of whom stated they did not believe the 'rubbish' about the monarchy attracting tourists to this country. The only person who dared to disagree with this suffered a torrent of abuse which had to be seen to be believed.

I had intended to link to these posts but on returning to the site to get the information needed I discovered that the entire series of exchanges had been heavily edited by the forum moderators with some posts being deleted altogether.

I suppose I should have expected something like this as some of the remarks were really, really nasty. However the editing has changed the entire tone. It now reads like an unwarranted and rather sarcastic attack by a new member instead of a vicious and unprovoked attack on that same new member by a bunch of twenty something Essex Girls.

Free swimming for your parents but not your kids

At the end of last month Olympic swimmer Mark Foster, 400m Freestyle World Record holder Joanne Jackson, Paralympic Gold Medallist Heather Frederiksen and a handful of the usual ministerial suspects launched a national scheme to provide free swimming to anyone 16 or under and the over 60s using money the Department of Culture, Media and Sport made available last year for the purpose.

Yes, I know. The idea of Gordo's government helping out local people instead of the large corporations they'll be looking to for jobs after the general election is such an alien concept that Dover District Council can be forgiven for being suspicious.

What they cannot be forgiven for is accepting the money for over 60s and not the 16 or unders.

Their official reason for this is it would cost too much to implement. Which would be entirely plausible were it not for the fact I have been unable to get a straight answer out of them about what these costs are or where they would be incurred.

The fact that a tory controlled local authority is giving away 'freebies' to one group which can vote and withholding the same 'freebies' from a group which cannot is purely coincidental of course.


Update:

I've just had the following Freedom of Information request brought to my attention:- FOI Request - Free Swimming Scheme

It will be interesting to see what convoluted excuses Dover District Council comes up with to avoid releasing information which they must have had in a readily accessible form in order to make their decision.

Strange...

I had a very strange experience in W.H.Smiths this morning while waiting to be served. The young lady operating the till 'ran out' of two pound coins and asked me to wait while she phoned upstairs for more despite the fact I could clearly see she had a drawer full of one pound coins. She then proceeded to argue with the person on the other end of the phone insisting that she was really desperate and needed more two pound coins NOW!!!

When I ventured to suggest that one pound coins were fine with me she said that this wouldn't take long and continued to argue with the other person becoming quite annoyed at what was obviously a refusal.

She eventually served me and included a two pound coin in my change which rather left me wondering if I'd missed something significant along the way.

Can you move your taxi please

I was taking a short cut through New St. at lunchtime today when I saw a confrontation between a young lady from W.H.Smiths and a taxi driver. This is not the first I've seen, nor is it likely to be the last and the reason - as per usual - was the drivers had parked their taxis around Smiths' car park gates in a way that had completely blocked any vehicle from entering or leaving the car park while technically leaving the gates clear.

Certain 'professional' bodies like to claim that taxi drivers are statistically less likely to be involved in a traffic accident than other road users. However this fails to take into account accidents caused by taxis but not directly involving them such as the infamous 'u-turn in the middle of a busy street manoeuvre'. Nor does it take into account accidents caused by careless parking. Had the young lady from Smiths tried to manoeuvre her car out and hit one of the taxis in the process she would have been held solely responsible for it. In addition, she would become another statistic for chauvinistic vermin to hold up as further prove that women are bad drivers despite all the evidence to the contrary.

More importantly, despite double yellow lines on both sides of the street for it's entire length, local traffic wardens completely ignore this blatant disregard for the law except when they've received a specific complaint. Now we all know what traffic wardens are like so is it really that much of a stretch to imagine they might have received instructions to ignore this?

Behind the Scenes

The revelation that daytime television shows such as Bargain Hunt, Cash in the Attic and Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is are 'pre-scripted' - and later edited - for dramatic effect will come as no surprise to anyone with an I.Q. exceeding their shoe size.

Despite this, the BBC has always denied accusations, most notably that of Jim and Maureen Samuels, that these shows are 'faked' while at the same time admitting that certain parts of them are 'reconstructed' for the camera. A subtle difference perhaps and one to which the corporation obviously attaches a great deal of importance, but not one which could by any stretch of the imagination, be considered a closely guarded secret.

So why have the BBC's lawyers suddenly found it necessary to contact a local couple who appeared on Bargain Hunt more than three years ago and remind them of the confidentiality agreement they signed at the time? Surely they can't seriously think there is anyone still living who actually believes that this rubbish is real?

I'm reminded of Otto Von Bismarck's famous quote about Sausages and Laws and wonder if perhaps we should add daytime television to that list for the benefit of it's few remaining fans.

Must Try Harder

One of the problems with something like this is the amount of time it takes up. I don't get a lot of free time as it is and I've been particularly busy over the past few weeks, so it came as quite a surprise to realise that it's been almost exactly two weeks since my last entry. Even then that was an item I had written the previous week but not had the time to publish.

I'm reminded of a phrase which used to appear on school report cards many years ago and wonder if perhaps those cantankerous old sods knew what they were talking about after all.

aaahh Christmas!

A time of good cheer where family, friends and colleagues gather together, eat, drink, get tipsy...

And discuss confidential information loudly in Very Public Places.

Last month I wrote about an incident involving the area manager of a well known high street retailer and an open window. Those of you who missed it can catch up <here>.

Well, it seems that the young lady on the receiving end of that rather unfortunate misunderstanding is in fact working with the company's security department to investigate significant losses relating to lottery scratch cards. Furthermore, the principle suspect in this investigation is none other that the real culprit responsible for the incident which led to last month's hullabaloo. A fact she is well aware of.

All of which suggests a rather different motive for her actions.

I’m reminded of an espionage case in the US where the mole’s handlers panicked and arranged for a message to be sent implicating someone else, thus proving conclusively that the Soviets knew that particular communications channel had been compromised and that the investigators were on the right track.

Oh Grandmother, what a big mouth you have.
Yes my dear, all the better to put my foot in it!

It's just a mobile phone officer

Last Friday I wrote about the PRS attempting to extort money from yet another Dover business on the obviously specious grounds that their radio could be heard on an extremely busy road below.

Well it seems that my title implying the use of an artificial aid was rather closer to the truth that I realised.

I am indebted to a group of local amateur radio enthusiasts for drawing my attention to a formerly classified radio detection technique code-named "Rafter". Striped of the technical details, of which there was a considerable quantity - Thanks Guys - Rafter enables anyone with the proper equipment to detect an operating radio receiver at a distance and is the basis of the T.V. detector vans which once prowled our cities in large numbers.

The modern digital equivalent is a hand-held, portable device not much larger than an old style mobile phone and just as easily concealed. It is capable of detecting an operating radio or television receiver at up to twenty metres and can identify precisely which station - radio or T.V. - is being received.

Now all I need is for someone to email me a copy of the receipt and/or delivery note showing how many of these things the PRS have bought and where they got them from.

If you stand on the table and use these binoculars

If anyone needs further proof that the Performing Rights Society are running what amounts to an extortion racket then the case of a Dover business threatened with prosecution for having a radio on in a private office should be sufficient.

The PRS rep claimed that he could hear the music clearly as he passed underneath the open window. Quite apart from the rather dubious claim of an open window in this weather, anyone who knows London Road can testify it is often difficult to hear what the person standing next to you is saying, never mind music from an allegedly open window fifteen feet above the pavement.

Most of us are now familiar with the PRS’ increasingly bizarre interpretations of what constitutes a ‘Public Performance’, there’s certainly been enough media coverage of it recently. From a group of school children singing Christmas carols at a private function, to Kwik-Fit staff playing a radio too loud and a police canteen to which members of the public are rarely, if ever permitted access.

So what's next - my neighbour's summer barbecues? His son's birthday party? I'm fairly certain I will be able to 'hear the music clearly' from my side of the fence on both occasions.

Even more worrying, how long before we have to pay a license fee to listen to music in the privacy of our own homes? Will we have to switch it off before answering the door or pay an increased license fee because the caller can 'hear the music clearly' through the open door?

A Real Life Hotel from Hell

An old family friend was a member of a group who attended a 'Country and Western' themed short break at the Burston Hotel in Folkstone last weekend. They had been promised all the usual amenities including 'three fun-filled evenings of entertainment' which, on the face of it, sounds fairly reasonable even to a confirmed C&W-Phobe like myself.

To say that they were disappointed with their break is one hell of an understatement. In fact they're quite angry about the whole thing, describing it as an "Unmitigated Disaster" and a "Complete shambles". For some the phrase 'Bloody Furious' might be a far more accurate description of their mood.

Yes. I know. 'Holiday' brochures etc. But this is not simply a case of a glossy brochure overselling the event or the reality not matching up to expectations.

The first hint that 'all was not well' was the very poor condition of the corridor leading to the rooms. This had an ageing false ceiling with a number of tiles missing and many others cracked or broken. The only bright spot in this dismal passage was a new-ish looking carpet which one guest suggested would be more appropriate in a Las Vegas casino.

The rooms were also in a very poor condition. None of them had been cleaned properly, perhaps for weeks, while some did not appear to have been cleaned at all. One member of the group was eventually forced to scrub her own 'facilities' before she could use them. Housekeeping staff were apparently "Too busy" to deal with this within a reasonable time frame.

The dining room, while considerably cleaner, was only in a slightly better condition and resembled a self-service cafeteria of the kind now out of favour even with Public Sector Organisations.

The food was absolutely appalling. Cold, improperly cooked, etc. The fish and chips served on Friday evening appeared to have been prepared from the previous days leftovers with the batter oozing rancid oil over the plate. The chips were shrivelled, hard and completely inedible.

Even the entertainment fell far short with performers wearing traditional Hawaiian costume on Friday and Saturday evening. Yes, that's right. Grass Skirts etc. with Country and Western music. Can you imagine how ridiculous that looked?

To paraphrase Queen Victoria, the group were Not Amused!

Then on Sunday afternoon while waiting in reception, one member of the group observed the arrival of another guest who told the receptionist that he had seen two men "Trying car doors" in the hotel car park. Only to be informed that all vehicles were left at the owners risk while having his attention drawn to a small, discretely placed, 'No Liability' sign. It seems that he was not impressed by this callous disregard for the safety of guest's property and cancelling his reservation, promptly left the hotel in search of somewhere more congenial.

While he was undoubtedly the quickest to leave, he certainly wasn't the first as some of the 'C&W Weekenders' had already left on Saturday morning after the fiasco with the fish and chips. Others waited until Sunday morning in the vain hope that things would improve.

The fact the that entertainment on Sunday evening finally lived up to the promises was little consolation for a much anticipated weekend break which was thoroughly spoiled by bad accommodation and even worse food. The group were unable to give a clear picture of staff attitudes or behaviour as they were "Conspicuous by their absence".

A week later the group are still divided on what action to take with some in favour of legal action against both the tour operator and the hotel for "Misrepresentation and endangering their health".

Whether the latter refers to the general state of hygiene or the food is unclear...

Bang! Aarrgh me foot!

The run-up to Christmas is a busy time for most retailers. Some of them will gradually extend their opening hours to cater for the pre-Christmas shoppers while others will wait until the last week, or even the last weekend before Christmas to take advantage of the last minute rush.

There is no doubt these extended opening hours are of mutual benefit to both retailers and busy shoppers, many of whom work long hours themselves.

Yet with just six weeks until Christmas the Dover branch of W. H. Smiths is reducing its weekend opening hours. This started last Sunday and further reductions, including shorter Saturday opening hours, are planned for three weeks time if this change is successful.

Which rather begs the question. What on earth will they be using to measure this success - A DIPSTICK?

Erm... Did you know the window was open?

Last week's Olympic Gold Medalist in the Leaping to Conclusions event is the area manager for a well known high street retailer who was seen, and heard, shouting abuse at a female member of staff on Friday morning.

It turns out that not only was the poor girl innocent of any wrongdoing, but had in fact been deliberately 'setup' by another member of staff. I suspect the consequences of this are going to be far more serious for the area manager than for the real culprit as this is not the first time she has 'crossed the line' in this fashion. It is certainly no coincidence that the previous manager of this particular branch was forced into early retirement by a stress induced heart-attack within three months of her being appointed to the post.

To behave like this in front of other staff was rather stupid to say the least. But to do it in front of an open window above the front entrance in full view and hearing of members of the public passing underneath...

Town Councillor Chris Precious

I've been catching up on local news since I got back which includes reading up on the 'doings' of the Town Council and Councillor Chris Precious in particular. I must admit that I was one of the many who expressed some surprise that he had actually managed to win the election and some concern about how well he could do the job. I hasten to add that I did not, unlike certain other members of the local Labour Party, descend to somewhat personal and inappropriate remarks.

Well... It seems that we were all wrong about him. He's not only done a good job despite fierce opposition from both Conservative and Labour councillors, he's done a Very Good Job Indeed.

Time to apologise for those rather unfortunate remarks guys.